I’ve always loved the end of the year because it gives me time to really reflect and refresh for a new year! What did I accomplish? What went well? Why did it go well? What areas could I have done better? What will I change in order to see that improvement? I ask these questions and more going into goal setting and vision planning for a new year.
One thing that has been different this year is I am not alone. I have taken a different approach to goal setting–it includes my boyfriend, significant other, David.
We each have our own unique goals. We also have goals together as a couple. I wanted to ensure we set aside proper time to discuss, dissect and start planning for them! Otherwise, if we undercommunicate, they might get left out to dry on the side of the “could have done” road.
David is extremely ADD, so when going about this, I knew I would have to be prepared and make it quick and succinct. It is not that he does not like goal setting, because he thrives from doing it. It is more of him being unable to focus for long periods of time.
Here is the method I went about to set new year goals with my significant other. Hope they can help you too!
Step 1: Break the ice
So, before you start with all these goals and plans, have you even asked the questions to your partner? Do they have goals? And are they willing to set them with you?
Since the inception of David and I’s relationship, we both have expressed different goals in life. Different preferences, visions for our upcoming years and ways we wanted to succeed. We had some of them broken down into goals. Others not quite. Breaking the ice to open the conversation is the start to these conversations.
Some questions I find helpful when starting the talks are:
- I’ve been thinking about my goals for the new year and I was wondering if you’d like to talk through them with me? I’d love to hear yours too!
- Going into the new year, I know I want to do _____, ______, and ______. What are some ideas for you?
- What are some things you want to work in this next year? How can I help you with them?
Step 2: Review past year
Before you do any vision planning for the new year ahead, be sure to analyze and give time to reflect on the past year! I used an idea shared by Nate Green for Personal Retrospective for us to go through our individual goals a few goals as a couple and plan into 2019.
Here are the areas to focus in the review:
- What made us proud or was a success?
- What were areas for improvement or growth opportunities?
Then, I broke it down into broad categories. We talked about our individual year goals together.
Proud or Success Moments
Quality time spent with loved ones.
- Went to Miami, FL to celebrate David’s birthday, train at a new gym and see his childhood friend Mark and wife Joanna
- Celebrated our one-year anniversary at Fogo de Chao
- Attended the Arnold Classic and got to meet some idols (mine was Amanda Kuclo, his was Lee Priest)
- Went white water rafting for the first time with David’s childhood friend Kevin and girlfriend Cat
- Celebrated by birthday with a photoshoot and home cooked lamb dinner with David
- Traveled to Ohio for my sister Kelly’s college graduation
- Attended my first Atlanta United soccer game
- Dressed in costume for first DragonCon, although we ran out of paint and David had to spend more than planned for his
- Celebrated the love of George and Kathleen at their wedding
- Took David to a shooting range for the first time, now he just needs his own handgun since we already have our permits
- Went ice skating with Tara
Supporting others successes.
- Attended the Lee Haney for David’s clients, Tony and Natan
- Attended two dress up events as Tara’s guest
- Celebrated Heather’s 30th birthday
Personal growth and career growth.
- Started to be coached by John Meadows for bodybuilding goals
- Starred in my first video shoot for a gym!
- Owned my own meal prep company and at one point had 15 clients while making profit
- Participated in first video shoot with Workout Anytime!
- Completed my first fitness model photoshoot with Rainbow Photography
- Continued freelancing all year for one large client, keeping me active and writing regularly
- Spoke at AFA Leaders Conference for college students about productivity and well being
- Attended A Tribe Called Bliss to hear Lori Harder speak and to meet some like-minded ladies
Femininity and Spirituality.
- Balanced my hormones and PCOS naturally
- Became more in tune with my sexuality through photography, reading and jade egg practice
- Increased yoga to once per week
- Stuck to meditating DAILY
- Improved bible study (almost have been 1 YEAR of daily bible verse via YouVersion Bible App) and watch Life.Church online weekly
- Started earning about crystal healing and using them in meditation practice
Areas of Improvement & Growth Opportunities
Sticking through the tough stuff.
- Having trust in my personal relationship and talking about areas I’m insecure, why and working with David to overcome it
- Skin issues and gut health take time. One meal will not improve my skin overnight, just like one cookie will not cause trauma. Consistency to heal from within. Read a bit about this journey.
- Preventative care for injuries is a must. Stretching, chiropractic work and deep tissue work will need increased, as well as Epsom salt baths and muscle relaxing creams.
Making the most of time, knowing my value and being present and organized.
- I have learned my value in my skills and work. I worked part time at a bakery that was not compensating what I should have earned for my skills.
- I worked at a real estate management firm that had negative energy and was taking away from my time and happiness.
- If I become disorganized, I do not use my time wisely and am unable to be fully present in the moment with friends, mentors and loved ones.
Write down business goals and be detailed.
- My meal prep business failed because I did not fully write out my budgets, goals and required profits.
- I missed income opportunities because of ill-planning.
Step 3: Ask the bigger questions for yourself and as a couple
Now that David knew where I stood on my 2018 plans and goals, what would 2019 look like? We had to discuss these together. And I did so with a quick worksheet, provided by Adam Carroll, and I expanded further.
Here are the questions we wrote down our individual answers:
- What do you want your life to be like 5 years from now?
- What’s the one most important thing to get done in 2019?
- What one thing have you not done that your really want to do?
- What’s holding you back?
- What do you absolutely love in life and how can you expand on it?
- What are you doing to pursue your dreams right now?
- What are you pretending not to know?
Here are two more questions we came up with individual answers but focused on our relationship:
- What are the two big focus areas for 2019?
- What feelings do you want to emit in 2019?
Our focus areas for 2019 are going to be Bodybuilding and Travel. Our feelings we want more of in our relationship for 2019 are fun, positive energy and passion!
Step 4: Put them into action
With our individual goals and team/partner goals, we need to implement them for the new year! That includes writing them down. David is not so much the organized, writing-brained part of our relationship. I took it upon myself to write them out and put onto one page we can print and hang up in our living area to see daily.
Between you and your partner, come to an agreement on who will write out the goals and “manage” the documents. Then, together, you must put them into action!
Break them down, monthly and possibly weekly and daily if you need. I find I’m most productive mapping out weekly goals and putting them into my schedule.
We are finalizing our couple vision board to add in the 5-year goals and ideas, as well as keep us visually motivated, every single day. When you put your plan into action, you will most likely succeed!
This is the first time David and I put down goals together. Now, we must stick to them and see that we succeed! How can this process help you and your loved one be aligned into a new year? Share comments below or reach out with any questions at firstname.lastname@example.org.